Posts from — October 2008

Today is Friday and it’s Halloween, and we’re worried that some of you might take this as a license to binge on high-calorie candy corn and alcohol. But we would strongly advise against such madness, unless you want to end up on the side of the road at 3 a.m. like some haphazard bulimic, regurgitating those happy chunks of wax, and losing any and all sex appeal you may have had just a few moments earlier. And let’s face it, Halloween is all about sex appeal. So don’t be stupid. Stay away from the candy corn and alcohol. You’ll thank us later.

I am not by any means an Emaciated Lady. My physique does not reflect my mentally-fucked food issues. My anorexia is strictly in my head. I’m 5′4″ and weigh 121.3 – 124.6 lbs. Obviously, I have my shit under control.

We at Random Anorexics strive to appeal to all demographics — even fat people. In fact, we encourage fat people to visit our site in hopes that it inpsires them to lose weight. This is our attempt at social responsibility.

We’re tired of all you fill-in-the-blank-rexics, and we will fight to the death for what is rightfully ours: the original rexia, anorexia. So take your energy anorexia and all your others – your carbonrexia, your greenorexia, your fakeorexia, your drunkorexia, your tanorexia, your socialrexia, your pregorexia, your cashorexia, your fuckorexia, your megarexia, your gayorexia – and shove them up your FATOREXIC ASS.

Anorexia is in style as is apparent in the new trend of skeleton-inspired designs. Even Dior is doing it. It’s cute that women think they can throw on a dress painted with bones and call themselves skinny, but who are they kidding? An anorexic doesn’t need a skeleton dress to make her look skinny.
True anorexics wouldn’t wear that shit. They display real bones. But if you’re going to go anorexic, skip the cheesy and go Dior. You can never go wrong with haute couture.

When asked the thought-provoking question of which historical figure he most hates, southern rapper Soulja Boy Tell Em responded with:

“Others have said Hitler, bin Laden, the slave masters…Oh wait! Hold up! Shout out to the slave masters! Without them we’d still be in Africa. We wouldn’t be here to get this ice and tattoos.”

Either he’s on crack or his brain is severely anorexic.

The term “socialist” is being thrown around rather liberally these days, so now seems like a good time to make a few distinctions. I hope this helps:

A capitalist wants to make food and sell it, hopefully for a profit.

A socialist wants to make food and distribute it, equally and/or according to need.

An anorexic wants to make food and look at it, period.

Sobriety is the key to anorexia.

Contributed by Enabler