Posts from — October 2009

One of the highlights of my life was the layover I had in Dallas last year. I text messaged nearly everyone I knew to describe the phenomenon I was witnessing — obesity at its finest. I’m from California so the sheer number of fat people really threw me for a loop. I experienced a truly happy moment in that airport. Probably because I get an endorphin rush whenever I feel skinny and superior. Unfortunately, a friend of mine who grew up in Fort Worth, recently went back to visit his parents and experienced the opposite reaction. Last week he Tweeted:

“Obese kids are fucking depressing. Yes, I’m in Texas.”

I don’t blame my friend for feeling sad over the fate of these kids. Fat children don’t make me happy. I only gloat over fat adults.

My sexy new bald spot, which may be a consequence of malnutrition. Or, if I’m lucky, some deadly malignancy lurking under my scalp. 

Our manorexic friend, Crazy D, emailed the following self-portrait entitled “Me as I Really Am”:

I really have no room to criticize the artwork here, but Jesus, what the fuck is up with those hands? A more appropriate title would’ve been “Crustaceous Hermaphrodite” or “Mesopotamian Fertility Goddess.”

P.S. – If you’re wondering what Crazy D really looks like…

Extra Large Man has ruined my life — again. I’m creeping towards a size four and it’s because he brings home food items I become obsessed with. My latest addiction (though I’m still drinking and smoking) is almond butter. It’s just like peanut butter except without the peanuts, oil or sugar. I admit it’s a healthier alternative — less saturated fat and no added ingrediants — but  indulging in anything every single day, with graham crackers no less, is NEVER a good thing. I officially fall under the category of obese.

And the winners are…

Congrats to these two lucky bitches! We wish we could make you all winners, but we’d have to rob a bank to make that happen and we’re anorexics, not criminals. If we can generate enough interest in t-shirts, we would be willing to order more. Let us know and we’ll see what we can do.

In the meantime, Nicole and Kitty, please send your mailing addresses to skinnylady@randomanorexics.com. I can’t promise not to stalk you, but that’s the risk you have to take to get your shirts.

To everyone else – thank you so much for all of your comments! As much as we hate people, we can’t help but love you all.

Random Anorexics is officially one year old today! I wanted to write something special to commemorate the occasion, but then I thought, who cares when there’s a giveaway looming on the horizon? So this is just a little teaser. I’ll post the winners later, so cross your fingers in the meantime and hope the gods shine down favorably upon you.