Bedtime Chatter
Yesterday, 10:53 p.m.
Emaciated Lady: The BLT your mom made you today looked so delicious. I’m craving imitation bacon.
Extra Large Man: Why didn’t you have one?
Emaciated Lady: I’m trying to consume as few calories as possible before Thanksgiving so I won’t have to commit suicide. I don’t want my parents to mourn during the holidays.
20 minutes later…
Emaciated Lady: I almost punched your sister in the neck when she told me I needed to change my expectations about spaghetti squash. I wanted to say, “Bitch, spaghetti squash is nothing like real pasta and if I want to be disappointed about it, then I will be.”
Extra Large Man: You know you think about food a hell of a lot right before you go to bed. Food and violence.
Emaciated Lady: I’ll grind your fingers with a food processor if you ever try to divorce me.
5 comments
Ummmmmm, food and violence…now you have me craving spagetti squash…with ketchup!
I shouldn’t laugh.. but I did. A little.
i’ve never tried the fake pasta. like you, i’ll be dissatisfied and then end up pigging down a salad bowl of the real thing.
then of course, a time consuming suicide attempt….i’m too busy for all that shit.
xoxo
imitation pasta sounds gross…but regular pasta is gross too.
lol :] that’s really cute.
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