Belly Fat

Belly fat – it’s almost universally condemned, save for Fabienne from Pulp Fiction, the pathetic little French girl who lamented her lack of a “pot.” Everywhere I turn and with every click of my mouse, I’m confronted by advertisements, diet books, images and news stories warning of the evils of belly fat and promising secrets to banish it forever. 

It really makes me miss the days when belly fat was cool, when it symbolized female fertility, prosperity and could get a girl through a long, harsh winter. But nowadays it’s a sign of gluttony, disease and poor genetic coding, and much to my dismay, I can’t starve or exercise my belly fat away. So I’d like to take this opportunity to thank my mom for this persistent bitch I call my belly. What long ago would have been my genetic boon is now nothing but an ugly curse.