Bones

Bones. That was the nickname given to an old friend I used to party with in my early 20s, and it was a nickname I always wished had been bestowed upon me instead. But she was a bony bitch, one of those girls who could truly eat anything and not gain weight, and I was, by comparison, a fat ass – aka the chubby friend,the body-type-inferior sidekick.

Recently, this person contacted me via Facebook. Now in her early 30s, she has the requisite two children and the body that inevitably accompanies both age and motherhood. I hate to say this, but WHO’S BONES NOW, BITCHES?