For God’s Sake

Nothing is more challenging than trying to starve yourself in the face of a bunch of fat, perpetually hungry coworkers.  But I need to be able to fit into my jeans before my visit to Emaciated Lady in March, which means I’ve had no choice save to bring my starvation out into the open at work and dare a mother fucker to ask me to lunch.

Meanwhile on the opposite end of the country, Emaciated Lady has fallen back on her old faithful:  cigarettes. Why? Here’s what she says:

My weight gain was directly correlated to my quitting smoking and I need to get back on the skinny track or else I’ll find other ways to kill myself. Plus everybody needs a vice, right? And because I know I’m going to try and have a baby next year, I don’t have many days of smoking ahead of me.

Dear Emaciated Lady, don’t you know that cigs + pregnancy = low birth weight? Do yourself and your unborn child a favor and smoke for God’s sake.