Hold the Applause
As is our custom, my husband and I went to dinner on Friday night and indulged in a monstrous feast. Almost without fail, we end up with a server who has some kind of opinion about the amount we order and our ability to finish it. This Friday’s dinner out was no exception.
When I placed my order, the waitress inquired, incredulously and a little concerned, if this was a dish I had ever ordered before. The reason she asked, she explained, was because it’s quite a giant serving. “DUH, YOU STUPID BITCH. DON’T I FUCKING LOOK HUNGRY TO YOU?” was what I almost said, but I bit my tongue and told her that I knew it was a lot and my skinny ass husband was going to help me eat it, which he did.
Just as we finished everything up, she stopped by again, but this time she was applauding us, like actually clapping her hands applauding and congratulating us on our “nice work.” I almost kicked that whore in her fat kneecaps for drawing such unnecessary attention to my food consumption. I’ll bet fat fuckers don’t get applauded when they finish their meals.
12 comments
I get that all the fucking time. I especially hate it when my waitress is fat(to be fair, I think most people are fat) and thinks that somehow we’ve become buddies because I can eat for three.
I actually like it. Half the time they save me money by warning me I’m unlikely to be able to finish it, then I order a soup or something small and nibble off my fiance. If I still want food afterward (which is, of course, almost never), then we go out for desserts.
What a freak. People (and I think most people are fat, too, skinnylikeme) are dumb as shit. You, though, are amazing.
what is the big fucking obsession the world has with FINISHING everything in restaurants?
the bartender doesn’t warn you that you won’t be able to finish the whole bottle of vodka when you order a seabreaze now does he???
has it got something to do with being a cheap-ass mofo cause full payment is required regardless of the amount consumed? i don’t get it.
as you well know from reading my blog, i would certainly not have held back from reading Fat
Server the complete, total, and unabridged riot act.
xxx
I have a hard enough time eating in public, that would just push me over the edge. If I order anything remotely unhealthy, I just look at the waitress and think “yes, I realize I’m a big fat slob, and I know that I just ordered a side of fries with my meal containing more fries, but damnit I’m hungry and I’m paying your way, so go get me my damn food!”
funny story but i waitress and i purposefully do that to people just to make them feel like fat slobs for overeating
i’m a waitress, and where i work we have large & small sizes for our salads and pasta, i always hate using the euphemisms the company’s come up with. it’s not a large, it’s “dinner size” and it’s not a small, it’s “savor size”
what the fuck. they’re both still huge and should not be eaten by anyone, ever.
Wow. That waitress is a bitch!
No! Not you, Nicole!
my friend takes it as a challenge when waitresses say stuff like that, she’ll eat til she’s sick, she’ll eat til I’m sick
That reminds me of when I got referred to occupational health for getting too thin… I couldn’t help thinking that they never seem to refer the morbidly obese colleagues…
That same kind of bullshit happens to me when I eat my one meal a week. I can’t cook myself cause it’s too stressful so I go to a restarant to order a meal. But even a normal sized meal, is a lot for me. But the dumb ass bitch waitress will tell me that ‘you did a good job today!’ or ‘you sure cleaned that up well, good for you!’ as she takes the plate away seconds before I start licking the last bit of food on the plate. She’s just jealous that I am a skinny bitch. But it still makes me want to rip her eyes out.
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