Letting Go Is Never Easy

But sometimes it’s for the best. And sometimes it’s just for the sake of clear skin. In my case, it’s the latter. Three weeks after I began my pseudoscientific revolutionary experiment on the effects of Diet Dr. Pepper on the skin, I was able to conclude the following with almost 100 percent certainty:

Diet Dr. Pepper makes my face ugly with pimples.

There, I said it. I wish it wasn’t so, but my face is clear and, not coincidentally, my body free of artificially-sweetened, carbonated acid.

A note to Dr. Pepper’s corporate headquarters: We are huge fans of Diet Dr. Pepper, even if it does make us ugly. And we would sell our non-existent souls for the opportunity to advertise your product on our site. So contact us. Thanks.