in fact, if i didn’t have a huge non-diet related readership who would all send me helpful “you are not fat!” protest emails (i mean, DER, how the fuck do they think that happened?), i’d post my new diet plan which i received from my bad-ass trainer yesterday.

She says it is designed for at loss, it’s our final ‘push’ before summer hits me right between the thighs (that is why i need to create that big yawning gap between them, which only malnutrition can achieve).

my entire day of food can be written out on the back of a postage stamp.

*excitement*
*glee*
*feelings of superiority*

when i call my blonde scary trainer “The Queen of Lean”, i’m certainly not being ironic…