Stovepipes

I saw the most unfortunate thing the other day. This attractive woman stood up from a table and I happened to look down. She had on black cotton coolots that fell to about her knees, and beneath that she was sporting what my mom would call ’stovepipes’ (what the cultured among us recognize as cankles). In all honesty, to call these things cankles or stovepipes is being generous. Her lower legs and feet had an almost elephantine appearance and I know this sounds mean, but in that moment I wished she had cancer or some other illness that might have caused swelling in her lower legs. Anything but for them to look like that naturally.