- Skinny Man, not more than an hour after enjoying a feast of quinoa stuffed bell peppers I made exclusively for him. Next time I’ll remember to add a little rat poison.

It was sweet of her mom to accommodate me, especially considering her dad’s attitude toward meat, which became clear about halfway through the meal. He looked at me and in a thick accent asked, “Why you don’t eat meat? Don’t you know God put the animals on the earth for us to kill and eat and barbeque them? That must be why you so skinny.” Of course, I took this latter statement as a great compliment. But I also wanted to correct him with, “No, the reason I’m so skinny is because I starve.”

After about 4.3 minutes, this is what the scene looked like:

It was a shame that the rice wasn’t vegetarian. And if that corn husk weren’t so tough, we’d have eaten that too.