I came across this quote the other day -

“Aesthetics have replaced ethics, so that stealing is no longer immoral, but being ugly and fat is”

- and I thought, yep, that sounds pretty reasonable to me.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you are a sad specimen of physical health and fitness.”

- Skinny Man, not more than an hour after enjoying a feast of quinoa stuffed bell peppers I made exclusively for him. Next time I’ll remember to add a little rat poison.

Skinny Lady:  I obviously don’t care if I get fat.

Skinny Man:  You mean you don’t care how fat you get.

…And then Skinny Lady whipped out the divorce papers and used them to beat her rat bastard husband into oblivion.

“I’m starting to breathe heavy like a fat person.”

– Skinny Lady to her husband after walking two blocks home from dinner.

“I just broke up with carbs foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.”

Kitty, in her excitement over winning our birthday giveaway. We can only hope she means it because god knows we can’t have any fat bitches walking around in our t-shirt.

“I start on a new prescription of Ativan tomorrow. I’ve been flamboyantly excited in anticipation. I’m thinking I can start by enjoying not giving a shit about anything, then go ahead and get addicted, then maybe do Intervention, and finally build a new career as a substance-abuse counselor who has the empathy of personal experience. Yay me!”

– Crazy D., dear friend of Random Anorexics and soon-to-be happy drug addict. As usual, I’m so jealous I could die.

“My privates are so not worth upkeeping.”

– Skinny Lady’s reaction to my appointment for a Brazilian bikini waxing.

[Exasperated] “I’m so fucking tired of fat people.”

– My beloved husband, Skinny Man, upon seeing a string of obese bikers on the highway with their asses hanging out.