This is a drawing I did of bedtime at my house. When I showed it to my husband, he asked, “Who’s the long skinny one on the left?” The answer is debatable, but that’s my side of the bed and I always prefer to be the skinny one, so I’m going to have to say it’s me. 

To be honest though, the first comment my husband made upon seeing this drawing was: “Your father would be mortified if he saw this.” It’s true. My father was a talented artist by all accounts, and I, his genetic offspring, have turned out to be a talentless disappointment (in more ways than one, I’m sure). Yay me.

I’ve discovered that the key to being a successful anorexic is to avoid social relationships at all costs, especially friend relationships. Why? Because people like to eat. They also like to drink and I can say with utmost certainty that happy hour is not amenable to anorexia. So rule number one of having a successful eating disorder: [Read more →]

The validation I’ve so desperately needed has finally found it’s way out of my mother’s mouth: You’re just so skinny, it worries me.

We are elite. It’s a fact.

- Emaciated Lady, confirming what all skinny people know – namely that skinny is superior.

“All you have to do is tell me I’m skinny and I’ll sleep with you.”

Contributed by me. I’m an easy lay.

When someone of my ethnicity calls me “chubby,” I’m supposed to take it as a compliment because what they really mean is that I look healthy and prosperous. Fuck prosperity. I almost bitched-slapped the last FOB that called me fat.

On the other hand, the last time my grandma saw me she said I looked thin, which caused me to experience one of the few joyous moments in my life. I found out later she meant I looked ugly. I didn’t give two shits. Skinny is skinny.

As I was searching for a product to control my unruly hair this morning, I came across Paul Mitchell’s Super Skinny Serum. This just proves that “skinny” is the best marketing tool. While this serum does nothing for a fat ass, it does offer promise for fat hair.

Skinny Lady and Skinny Man are now the proud parents of Skinny Dog. I’m an aunt!