Category — Politics

Today is trim the tree day at work. Because I’m all about equality, peace and brotherhood in the workplace, I’m going to propose that we change it to trim the fat day – that way the Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus and atheists can participate.  And what’s more, we can nix the pizza and eat carrot sticks instead. I know, I’m virtually a saint.

I just got a call from a charity asking me to donate my clothes to the starving people throughout the world.
 
I told them to fuck off!!
 
Anybody who fits into my clothes isn’t starving…

I’m about to have a PETA moment and I apologize to those that think advocating for something you believe in is self righteous.

For anyone who’s too lazy to read the Omnivore’s Dilemma or Fast Food Nation, you need to watch Food, Inc. stat. It’s disturbing that the government and the food industry can get away with abusing workers and animals in factory farms, compromise the safety of the food we eat, and be the primary source for the obesity epidemic.

We can help change this. Stop being fat and lazy. Go to http://www.foodincmovie.com/spread-the-word.php to help make a difference.

It is socially and morally irresponsible for Oprah Winfrey to promote KFC. If she gave two shits about America’s obesity epidemic, then she would be touting lettuce, not fried chicken. She also claims to be a compassionate human being, but lends her name to one of the worst chicken-abusers in the food industry. Hypocritical bitch.

May he serve us well.

Nobody cares about politics. People only care about fat.

An anorexic (or close to it). We’re not here to endorse one party over another because, frankly, they both suck. But on Friday, California Governor Terminator Arnold Schwarzenegger made a comment that made me think - He said Barack Obama needs to beef up “those skinny legs” and “scrawny little arms.”

I see nothing wrong with skinny legs and, in fact, have a couple myself, which is why I can’t stop thinking about how great would it be to have a skinny, scrawny inspiration in the White House. Obama is not just the working person’s candidate or the black American’s candidate. He’s the anorexic’s candidate.

The term “socialist” is being thrown around rather liberally these days, so now seems like a good time to make a few distinctions. I hope this helps:

A capitalist wants to make food and sell it, hopefully for a profit.

A socialist wants to make food and distribute it, equally and/or according to need.

An anorexic wants to make food and look at it, period.