Category — Vegetarianism

Rather than doing something productive with my weekend, I went through hundreds of pages of cookbooks and nearly three years’ worth of Vegetarian Times magazines to create a repertoire of Skinny Man’s favorite recipes (read: food I cook and he eats). I ended up with four pages of recipes, which I enshrined in plastic paper protectors. Yes, this is how much I hate myself.

After a miserable work function this afternoon, I thought I’d treat myself to food for lunch. I chose to go to an organic pizza place where I ordered a personal-size multigrain thin crust pizza with vegan rice cheese. The waitress told me I was a “champion” as she picked up my empty plate, but immediately realized how insensitive her comment was, so she followed it up with “you look great babe.” I can’t decide which is worse. Being called fat or babe.

As you can imagine, this new campaign has been the source of a lot of controversy among the obese.

I’m about to have a PETA moment and I apologize to those that think advocating for something you believe in is self righteous.

For anyone who’s too lazy to read the Omnivore’s Dilemma or Fast Food Nation, you need to watch Food, Inc. stat. It’s disturbing that the government and the food industry can get away with abusing workers and animals in factory farms, compromise the safety of the food we eat, and be the primary source for the obesity epidemic.

We can help change this. Stop being fat and lazy. Go to http://www.foodincmovie.com/spread-the-word.php to help make a difference.

We all know Emaciated Lady has issues and now I know why. Upon landing in California last week for a visit, I was taken to her parents’ house where a veritable feast awaited me. Emaciated Lady’s parents are immigrants and hospitality in their culture is apparently measured by how much you can make a guest binge eat. So I did my best to indulge them, taking a little bit of everything that was vegetarian.

It was sweet of her mom to accommodate me, especially considering her dad’s attitude toward meat, which became clear about halfway through the meal. He looked at me and in a thick accent asked, “Why you don’t eat meat? Don’t you know God put the animals on the earth for us to kill and eat and barbeque them? That must be why you so skinny.” Of course, I took this latter statement as a great compliment. But I also wanted to correct him with, “No, the reason I’m so skinny is because I starve.”

This is us eating. Not something we do very often, but here we are caught in the act. We know this is a disturbing image, and we’re sorry for those of you who are disgusted. Trust us, we are too. But in our defense, it was a social occasion so we HAD to eat. We did split a veggie burger and a salad though, and it wasn’t our fault the damned kitchen staff added a heaping pile of tater tots, which, to our credit, we couldn’t even finish. But maybe that was because we were loaded up on alcohol. Either way…

Photo Credit: Thanks, Muffin Man!

It is socially and morally irresponsible for Oprah Winfrey to promote KFC. If she gave two shits about America’s obesity epidemic, then she would be touting lettuce, not fried chicken. She also claims to be a compassionate human being, but lends her name to one of the worst chicken-abusers in the food industry. Hypocritical bitch.

My dad’s latest attempt to get me to change my vegetarian ways:

“Life is too short, Emaciated Lady. God put cows and pigs and chickens and goats on the earth so we could kill them and barbecue them and eat them. Don’t deprive yourself.”

I swear I’ve never eaten a barbecued goat before.